To Those Who "Happen to Be There."

I started reading The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis the other day. I have never read this book, and am still working on completing it. But there are already some amazing insights that I have learned from reading what I have from this book. One of them is to appreciate those in my life, no matter if I enjoy being around them or not. C.S. Lewis puts it this way, 

The truly wide taste in humanity will similarly find something to appreciate in the cross-section of humanity whom one has to meet every day. In my experience it is Affection that creates this taste, teaching us first to notice, then to endure, then to smile at, then to enjoy, and finally to appreciate, the people who "happen to be there." Made for us? Thank GOD, no. They are themselves, odder than you could have believed and worth far more than we guessed.

Lewis is not saying that we will learn to love everybody, but what he is saying is that there are people out there that we will most definitely butt heads with. But as we are forced to spend time with some people, we learn to endure who they are, then slowly we start to understand them, so we can laugh off some of those oddities which originally bugged us. As time goes on, you may still not intentional become friends with those people, but you will appreciate them for being in your life at some point in time. 


Whether they are people on your floor or people in your church, there will be people you don't enjoy being around when you begin to know them. But as time goes on, you couldn't imagine the floor without that individual identity. It's a blessing in the end (whether they turn out to be ridiculous stories or they teach you something you otherwise wouldn't have learned). 


We won't be friends with everybody, but we can be thankful for the people who "happen to be there" because they have a ton of potential to bless our lives with joy and maturity. GOD has placed people in our lives with intent to help us love HIM more, and everyone can teach you something about HIM if you take the time to listen and appreciate those who "happen to be there."


GOD, help me to not overlook those who "happen to be there," those who live with me, eat with me, learn with me, and play soccer with me. I may not be able to know them all on a deep level, but I pray that they might help me glorify YOU more and that I do the same for them. Help me be humble and appreciative of those who don't agree with me because I'm not always right. Thank YOU. 

Autumn Winds.

Flannel. Cinnamon Apple Spice Tea. Purple, gold, yellow, and red leaves which then leave the trees naked for the frost of winter. Cool breezes through the window. Temperatures are dropping. Life is both slowing down and speeding up. Autumn has begun.


Reading and writing comes easy in the fall because I just want to sit back and enjoy life. However, the stresses of school and other responsibilities often interfere with those desires. Reflection on the goodness of GOD gets set aside because of the busyness of the season when GOD has designed this season to be a calm down season. This of course makes school work much more difficult to accomplish because it is the last thing I want to do. One thing to keep satisfied in this season is to continue to write my thoughts and findings even when I do get busy because it's a break from the monotony of education. It is the freedom to write whatever is on my mind, or whatever GOD has shown me throughout the days and weeks.

The LORD is good to those who wait for HIM, to the soul who seeks HIM. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth in the dust---there may yet be hope; let him give his cheek to the one who strikes, and let him be filled with insults. For the LORD will not cast off forever, but, though HE cause grief, HE will have compassion according to the abundance of HIS steadfast love; for HE does not afflict from HIS heart or grieve the children of men.                                                -Lamentations 3:25-33

With all the changes that autumn brings, it is always comforting for me to remember how faithful the LORD is and that HE never changes. Though HE may seem far off at time, it is crucial to never forget that HE is always there, guiding us in ways that are beyond our comprehension often times. 


School gets tough. Whenever you have thirteen projects due on the following Monday, do not neglect the Word of GOD as I often do, for within it is hope and peace. It constantly reminds us to not get anxious because GOD is in control. It reminds us that GOD is good no matter what circumstances look like. It reminds us of GOD's unfailing love for us fallen sinners saved by grace alone. It remains unchanged when there is change all around us.


GOD, keep us in YOUR Word. Even when the abundance of school work and other responsibilities pile up, let us never forget who YOU are. We love YOU because YOU first loved us. Often times we forgo our first LOVE and run to idols. May it be YOUR kindness that brings us to repentance. YOU make all things new.

Finding Identity.

Everyone goes through an identity crisis. It was my first two years at Moody. I did not know who I was. I did not know what I was doing. All I knew was that I found my identity in my relationships with other people. If I was hanging out with the guys on the soccer team, I had a different identity then if I was spending time on my floor. The problem was that I also had another personality depending on which friends I was spending time with.

I was so determined to be known by anyone that I was willing to conform myself into something they approved of instead of being who GOD created me to be. GOD gifts each of us with personality, and when we try to please others, we tend to lose our individualism. 

I became a man who was always goofing around and did not take life seriously. This was how I portrayed myself to others, so this is what I thought I should be. This caused my conversations to become shallow and my vulnerability to shut up. I was afraid to be known because I was afraid to be disliked.

I was in a spiral of friend groups. I did not know who I actually enjoyed hanging out with or who I was just trying to please. Last semester I was wrestling with this issue so much. I could not figure out why I spent time with the people I did. I had to take a deep look at my motivations, and then I realized why I jumped around.

So many times when I meet new people, I have an excitement to get to know them. Slowly, I start realizing characteristics that I don't like, and so slowly I drift away from them. Because I have tended to do this, I have a fear of the same thing happening to me. So I make sure that everyone is happy with me, and I look to always avoid conflict. This was extremely unhealthy.

This summer, I had the opportunity to start over. I made good relationships, and I was able to do so without conforming to their identities. What I realized made the ultimate difference in my life was consistency in the Word. One passage that stands out to me now is Hebrews 4:12-13

For the word of GOD is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from HIS sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of HIM to whom we must give account.

GOD's Word exposed my heart issues. I knew I wasn't being a good friend, but I didn't want to admit to it. GOD has changed me. I am not anxious about my relationships here at school like I was the last couple of years. I am content with whom HE has placed in my life. While I will meet new people, I want to make sure I show them who I am, not who I think they want me to be.

So yeah, I goofy and a little ridiculous many times, and I tend to get really serious and open on this blog, but right now I'm looking for a balance between these two lifestyles. I want to be able to get to know those in my life by letting myself be known in the process. It'll take time. Thankfully, GOD is good. And it is in HIM alone that I have an identity.

PS... this post is a reflection of myself. I pray that GOD would use it to encourage you in a way that I could not express in words. Because HE does cool stuff like that a lot if we keep our eyes open for them.

I know.

I know a lot of people. I used to think that this was because I’m outgoing and friendly. But now I’m starting to understand that I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to have a stable circle of friends, but anytime that commitment came, I got scared and found new friends.

I know a lot of people, and a lot of people know about me. They know my name. They know I play soccer. They know I’m a Bible Major. They know my hair color, my laugh, my voice, my jokes. They know I live in Greece. They know I go to Missio Deo.

I know a lot of people, but a lot of people don’t know me. Do they know what makes me happy? What makes me cry? Do they know my struggles? My fears? My longings? My pains? Do they know I am often falsely happy? Do they know I hide my insecurity through sarcasm? Do they know that I’m afraid of being a terrible friend?

I know a lot of people, and a lot of people are great. But I could know everyone in this whole world, and still not have peace. I could be completely transparent with those closest to me, and they still wouldn’t know all my secrets. I could be around people all day, and still be alone.

I know a lot of people, but only ONE knows me. Only ONE knows my heart. Only ONE sees me in my darkest times. Only ONE stretches out HIS hand whenever I’m drowning. Only ONE makes me truly happy. Only ONE loves me enough to die for me. Only ONE can satisfy.

I know a lot of people, but do I love a lot of people? Do I give up my time for people? Do I share my heart with people? Do I make an effort to know people? Do I listen with a willing heart?

I should. Hopefully, I will.

Love. Honor. Family.

Love. Honor. Family.

These are the three core values that the Moody Men’s Soccer Team has put together to make us more unified as a team. These values do not solely exist for our team unity, but they are values that spring out of the heart of this team.

Today was the final day of preseason. This was the hardest preseason that I’ve had in the past three years on this team. Through this week, I’ve gotten to go through some of the toughest conditioning as a team, and not as an individual. When tough times come, it is easy to give up; I’m the type of person who has a hard time being self-motivated. If someone wants to run, I’ll run with them, but I have a terribly tough time going by myself. Whenever I do tough things with people, my expectations are raised because I don’t want to let them down. It’s a motivation outside myself.

Since the beginning of preseason, my lower back has been tightening up really tight when I run for a long time. At our final practice today, we had to run suicide sprints. We start at the goal line, then sprint to the 6 yard line, jog back, then sprint to the 18 yard line, jog back, sprint to the half line, etc... you get the picture. I did one set of those, and my back tightened up so badly that it was hard for me to get off the ground.

As the team caught their breath back and were preparing for the next set, I was attempting to stretch out my back, but it was too tight to stretch out. So I was told to jog around the field with Dan and Desch who had different ailments which kept them from the sprints. I got up, and started to jog slowly. Running down my face was a mixture of sweat and tears. Not only because of my pain, but because I felt I let my team down by not being able to finish.

I was so frustrated the entire time I was jogging. I was watching my teammates do suicides while I’m slowly jogging around the field. Is that fair? I didn’t think so. But I could not physically run the sprints. So I kept on going angrily.

As I was going around the goal line, a couple of the guys who were in the middle of the sprints yelled, “Keep up the good work, Sam!” “Keep that pace, you’re doing good buddy” "Continue working hard, Sam, you're doing great." They were encouraging me. ME. If anything it should have been vice-versa. I should have been telling them what a great job they were doing, because they were doing great.

Whenever I heard those words, I realized what our team had meant when we decided our core values: love, honor, and family. They aren’t just abstract values, but lived out practices. The guys on my team love me, honor me, and treat me like family, and it wasn’t until today that I understood fully what that entails. Through the encouragement of that drill, I understood that no matter how much I despise my failures and my inabilities, these guys will love me even through those. They will love and honor me, no matter what struggles and failures I go through. That’s what it means to be a family. That’s Moody Soccer.

GOSPEL

If you are like me, then you have constantly forgotten what the Gospel is, or better yet, WHO the Gospel is. Whenever someone had asked me what I believe, I would struggle to tell them. I have always been told that the Gospel is very simple, and yet when I try to explain it, I immediately go into defense mode instead of just saying what I believe.


At Missio Dei, my church in Chicago, we are going through a series about being mission minded. Yesterday, we talked about what the Gospel is, and how GOD has called us to actually tell others about the GOSPEL (Rom. 10:13-17).


The main thing in life that keeps us from sharing our faith seems to be FEAR. Either the fear of man or the fear of our ability. The fear of man is a constant struggle, but we must remember that GOD has sent us out to proclaim HIS Gospel. HE has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control. There is hope in the Gospel, and we need to share that hope with others.


Our fear of ability is a fear to comprehensively share the Gospel with others. That fear comes in because we think when we share the Gospel that if they do not accept JESUS then we have failed. However, "we weren't called to be successful, but faithful." (Pastor Mike). We may just be planting seeds in their hearts, but that's what GOD had planned. Many times, salvation doesn't come by one person alone, but by many influences. But to help you understand the GOSPEL in a clear way that can be easily understood and explained, Missio Dei put together a little chart and then I made one just like it:

I hope this blesses you as it blessed me.

Future Angst.

I’ve been reading through a few C.S. Lewis books this summer. This man was so heavily gifted by the Lord in his writings and ideas. I just finished the Screwtape Letters today. Wow. My mind was just blown away by the creativity, the logic, and the power of the book. A theme that sat heavily on my heart was the idea of living in the present. I’ll just let Lewis explain:

“The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly  to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity.”

“But the phrase “living in the present” is ambiguous. It may describe a process which is really just as much concerned with the future as anxiety itself. Your man may be untroubled about the Future, not because he is concerned with the Present, but because he has persuaded himself that the future is going to be agreeable. As long as that is the real course of his tranquility, his tranquility will do us good, because it is only piling up more disappointment, an therefore more impatience, for him when his false hopes are dashed. If, on the other hand, he is aware that horrors may be in store for him and is praying for the virtues, wherewith to meet them, and meanwhile concerning himself with the Present because there, and there alone, all duty, all grace, all knowledge, and all pleasure dwell, his state is very undesirable and should be attacked at once.”

I’ve had a bad habit of being anxious. I look into the Future, and I imagine the worst things that can happen. Sometimes this immobilizes me. I’m afraid of acting because I’m afraid of what might happen. However, living in the Present means I should not be afraid of what might happen to me, because bad things are going to happen. It means I should be praying that I am able to face them with the character that only God can provide.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”                                                                                                        -Philippians 4:4-7

I had been asked many times what I want to do after I graduate college. Coming into this summer, I had no idea. Even now, I’m not totally sure. The main reason I would give that answer was because I was afraid that my will wouldn’t be God’s will. I now know how much of a cop out that is. God has called me to not be anxious because He doesn’t want me to be afraid of making decisions. If I make a decision that is not in God’s will, I pray that He will let me know, and that I can handle it with the grace He has given to me. But too often it’s easy to not have a plan for the Future because I’m afraid it won’t last. But if there is no original plan, there’s no new plans because I will constantly be afraid of making plans.



I was blessed to be able to be a part of a crew that saw the Morning Star return to Porto Astro. This was a much bigger blessing than I realized beforehand. Not only was I refreshed by being able to relax and having a perfect sailing day, but the legacy behind the Morning Star and the adventures it’s been on is absolute legend. It was on this sailboat that I realized how afraid I was of the Future. I knew that if I was to be used fully by God, I needed to let go of my fears and commit to something that I love.



So here’s the plan right now. Next summer, I come back to Greece and do my internship with HM. What’s the plan after that? Well, as of right now, continue to work with HM once I graduate. If God has something else in store, so be it. But I cannot be afraid of my plans failing if I want to serve God without fear because ultimately He is in control, and He knows what He’s doing.