I’ve been reading through a few C.S. Lewis books this summer. This man was so heavily gifted by the Lord in his writings and ideas. I just finished the Screwtape Letters today. Wow. My mind was just blown away by the creativity, the logic, and the power of the book. A theme that sat heavily on my heart was the idea of living in the present. I’ll just let Lewis explain:
“The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity.”
“But the phrase “living in the present” is ambiguous. It may describe a process which is really just as much concerned with the future as anxiety itself. Your man may be untroubled about the Future, not because he is concerned with the Present, but because he has persuaded himself that the future is going to be agreeable. As long as that is the real course of his tranquility, his tranquility will do us good, because it is only piling up more disappointment, an therefore more impatience, for him when his false hopes are dashed. If, on the other hand, he is aware that horrors may be in store for him and is praying for the virtues, wherewith to meet them, and meanwhile concerning himself with the Present because there, and there alone, all duty, all grace, all knowledge, and all pleasure dwell, his state is very undesirable and should be attacked at once.”
I’ve had a bad habit of being anxious. I look into the Future, and I imagine the worst things that can happen. Sometimes this immobilizes me. I’m afraid of acting because I’m afraid of what might happen. However, living in the Present means I should not be afraid of what might happen to me, because bad things are going to happen. It means I should be praying that I am able to face them with the character that only God can provide.
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:4-7
I had been asked many times what I want to do after I graduate college. Coming into this summer, I had no idea. Even now, I’m not totally sure. The main reason I would give that answer was because I was afraid that my will wouldn’t be God’s will. I now know how much of a cop out that is. God has called me to not be anxious because He doesn’t want me to be afraid of making decisions. If I make a decision that is not in God’s will, I pray that He will let me know, and that I can handle it with the grace He has given to me. But too often it’s easy to not have a plan for the Future because I’m afraid it won’t last. But if there is no original plan, there’s no new plans because I will constantly be afraid of making plans.
I was blessed to be able to be a part of a crew that saw the Morning Star return to Porto Astro. This was a much bigger blessing than I realized beforehand. Not only was I refreshed by being able to relax and having a perfect sailing day, but the legacy behind the Morning Star and the adventures it’s been on is absolute legend. It was on this sailboat that I realized how afraid I was of the Future. I knew that if I was to be used fully by God, I needed to let go of my fears and commit to something that I love.
So here’s the plan right now. Next summer, I come back to Greece and do my internship with HM. What’s the plan after that? Well, as of right now, continue to work with HM once I graduate. If God has something else in store, so be it. But I cannot be afraid of my plans failing if I want to serve God without fear because ultimately He is in control, and He knows what He’s doing.
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