Monday, October 31, 2011

Thank GOD for struggles.

I'm in my third year at Moody Bible Institute. I wake up before 7 most days to either attend class or go to work. I'm developing irreplaceable friendships, learning a plethora of theology, and am a part of the #1 Men's soccer team in the nation for the NCCAA DII. Life here could not be better. This is the Moody experience. This is how I grow.

While I could structure out all of these great things out into a diagram of how I want others to experience Moody, but what I've learned is that though all these good things are at Moody, it's the struggles that I wouldn't trade for anything.

It has been through my struggles that I've seen GOD brighter and more radiant. It's been through my struggles that I've opened myself up to criticisms and tough conversations. It's been through my struggles that GOD has given me peace and joy. My struggles demote pride. My struggles cause me to surrender all: all my will, my plans, my emotions to the ONE who gave them to me.

I have the atrocious tendency to become anxious just about everyday of my life. If things are not according to me plan, or if I cannot foresee something happening, I begin to worry. I begin to doubt myself and sometimes GOD. So I'll write down how confused and frustrated I am with HIM. Mainly asking HIM, "Why? Why not do my plan? Why delay such a good thing?"

GOD always answers, "Because my plan is better. Because I know what is best for you. Because I love you. You are going through disappointment because until you learn to trust ME in disappointments, you will never trust me in success. You would marry the girl of your dreams because you think you won her heart with your charm. You would think you have good friends because you are such a great person. You would think that I love you because you deserve it. That is why I cannot allow you to trust yourself. Because I know the minute you start to lean on your own understanding is the minute that you think you can do this by yourself. I love you, and I'd rather be holding your hand when you trip, then watch you scar your face on the asphalt."

So I trust HIM... for a couple of days, sometimes hours. But HE never gives up on me. It's only through my struggles that I can see this. Struggles mature us. Struggles teach us. Struggles cause us to love HIM more.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
(Matthew 6:25-34 ESV)
May this bless you, as it has for me. 

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