I know.

I know a lot of people. I used to think that this was because I’m outgoing and friendly. But now I’m starting to understand that I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to have a stable circle of friends, but anytime that commitment came, I got scared and found new friends.

I know a lot of people, and a lot of people know about me. They know my name. They know I play soccer. They know I’m a Bible Major. They know my hair color, my laugh, my voice, my jokes. They know I live in Greece. They know I go to Missio Deo.

I know a lot of people, but a lot of people don’t know me. Do they know what makes me happy? What makes me cry? Do they know my struggles? My fears? My longings? My pains? Do they know I am often falsely happy? Do they know I hide my insecurity through sarcasm? Do they know that I’m afraid of being a terrible friend?

I know a lot of people, and a lot of people are great. But I could know everyone in this whole world, and still not have peace. I could be completely transparent with those closest to me, and they still wouldn’t know all my secrets. I could be around people all day, and still be alone.

I know a lot of people, but only ONE knows me. Only ONE knows my heart. Only ONE sees me in my darkest times. Only ONE stretches out HIS hand whenever I’m drowning. Only ONE makes me truly happy. Only ONE loves me enough to die for me. Only ONE can satisfy.

I know a lot of people, but do I love a lot of people? Do I give up my time for people? Do I share my heart with people? Do I make an effort to know people? Do I listen with a willing heart?

I should. Hopefully, I will.

Love. Honor. Family.

Love. Honor. Family.

These are the three core values that the Moody Men’s Soccer Team has put together to make us more unified as a team. These values do not solely exist for our team unity, but they are values that spring out of the heart of this team.

Today was the final day of preseason. This was the hardest preseason that I’ve had in the past three years on this team. Through this week, I’ve gotten to go through some of the toughest conditioning as a team, and not as an individual. When tough times come, it is easy to give up; I’m the type of person who has a hard time being self-motivated. If someone wants to run, I’ll run with them, but I have a terribly tough time going by myself. Whenever I do tough things with people, my expectations are raised because I don’t want to let them down. It’s a motivation outside myself.

Since the beginning of preseason, my lower back has been tightening up really tight when I run for a long time. At our final practice today, we had to run suicide sprints. We start at the goal line, then sprint to the 6 yard line, jog back, then sprint to the 18 yard line, jog back, sprint to the half line, etc... you get the picture. I did one set of those, and my back tightened up so badly that it was hard for me to get off the ground.

As the team caught their breath back and were preparing for the next set, I was attempting to stretch out my back, but it was too tight to stretch out. So I was told to jog around the field with Dan and Desch who had different ailments which kept them from the sprints. I got up, and started to jog slowly. Running down my face was a mixture of sweat and tears. Not only because of my pain, but because I felt I let my team down by not being able to finish.

I was so frustrated the entire time I was jogging. I was watching my teammates do suicides while I’m slowly jogging around the field. Is that fair? I didn’t think so. But I could not physically run the sprints. So I kept on going angrily.

As I was going around the goal line, a couple of the guys who were in the middle of the sprints yelled, “Keep up the good work, Sam!” “Keep that pace, you’re doing good buddy” "Continue working hard, Sam, you're doing great." They were encouraging me. ME. If anything it should have been vice-versa. I should have been telling them what a great job they were doing, because they were doing great.

Whenever I heard those words, I realized what our team had meant when we decided our core values: love, honor, and family. They aren’t just abstract values, but lived out practices. The guys on my team love me, honor me, and treat me like family, and it wasn’t until today that I understood fully what that entails. Through the encouragement of that drill, I understood that no matter how much I despise my failures and my inabilities, these guys will love me even through those. They will love and honor me, no matter what struggles and failures I go through. That’s what it means to be a family. That’s Moody Soccer.

GOSPEL

If you are like me, then you have constantly forgotten what the Gospel is, or better yet, WHO the Gospel is. Whenever someone had asked me what I believe, I would struggle to tell them. I have always been told that the Gospel is very simple, and yet when I try to explain it, I immediately go into defense mode instead of just saying what I believe.


At Missio Dei, my church in Chicago, we are going through a series about being mission minded. Yesterday, we talked about what the Gospel is, and how GOD has called us to actually tell others about the GOSPEL (Rom. 10:13-17).


The main thing in life that keeps us from sharing our faith seems to be FEAR. Either the fear of man or the fear of our ability. The fear of man is a constant struggle, but we must remember that GOD has sent us out to proclaim HIS Gospel. HE has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control. There is hope in the Gospel, and we need to share that hope with others.


Our fear of ability is a fear to comprehensively share the Gospel with others. That fear comes in because we think when we share the Gospel that if they do not accept JESUS then we have failed. However, "we weren't called to be successful, but faithful." (Pastor Mike). We may just be planting seeds in their hearts, but that's what GOD had planned. Many times, salvation doesn't come by one person alone, but by many influences. But to help you understand the GOSPEL in a clear way that can be easily understood and explained, Missio Dei put together a little chart and then I made one just like it:

I hope this blesses you as it blessed me.

Future Angst.

I’ve been reading through a few C.S. Lewis books this summer. This man was so heavily gifted by the Lord in his writings and ideas. I just finished the Screwtape Letters today. Wow. My mind was just blown away by the creativity, the logic, and the power of the book. A theme that sat heavily on my heart was the idea of living in the present. I’ll just let Lewis explain:

“The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly  to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity.”

“But the phrase “living in the present” is ambiguous. It may describe a process which is really just as much concerned with the future as anxiety itself. Your man may be untroubled about the Future, not because he is concerned with the Present, but because he has persuaded himself that the future is going to be agreeable. As long as that is the real course of his tranquility, his tranquility will do us good, because it is only piling up more disappointment, an therefore more impatience, for him when his false hopes are dashed. If, on the other hand, he is aware that horrors may be in store for him and is praying for the virtues, wherewith to meet them, and meanwhile concerning himself with the Present because there, and there alone, all duty, all grace, all knowledge, and all pleasure dwell, his state is very undesirable and should be attacked at once.”

I’ve had a bad habit of being anxious. I look into the Future, and I imagine the worst things that can happen. Sometimes this immobilizes me. I’m afraid of acting because I’m afraid of what might happen. However, living in the Present means I should not be afraid of what might happen to me, because bad things are going to happen. It means I should be praying that I am able to face them with the character that only God can provide.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”                                                                                                        -Philippians 4:4-7

I had been asked many times what I want to do after I graduate college. Coming into this summer, I had no idea. Even now, I’m not totally sure. The main reason I would give that answer was because I was afraid that my will wouldn’t be God’s will. I now know how much of a cop out that is. God has called me to not be anxious because He doesn’t want me to be afraid of making decisions. If I make a decision that is not in God’s will, I pray that He will let me know, and that I can handle it with the grace He has given to me. But too often it’s easy to not have a plan for the Future because I’m afraid it won’t last. But if there is no original plan, there’s no new plans because I will constantly be afraid of making plans.



I was blessed to be able to be a part of a crew that saw the Morning Star return to Porto Astro. This was a much bigger blessing than I realized beforehand. Not only was I refreshed by being able to relax and having a perfect sailing day, but the legacy behind the Morning Star and the adventures it’s been on is absolute legend. It was on this sailboat that I realized how afraid I was of the Future. I knew that if I was to be used fully by God, I needed to let go of my fears and commit to something that I love.



So here’s the plan right now. Next summer, I come back to Greece and do my internship with HM. What’s the plan after that? Well, as of right now, continue to work with HM once I graduate. If God has something else in store, so be it. But I cannot be afraid of my plans failing if I want to serve God without fear because ultimately He is in control, and He knows what He’s doing.

Shaming the Wise.

“But GOD chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; GOD chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; GOD chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of GOD.”

I Corinthians 1:27-29.

There’s something so beautiful, so counter-cultural, so ridiculous about this passage that makes me speechless at the thought of GOD. GOD is all about HIS glory. We have been created to proclaim this glory. The sun, the moon, the stars, everything in nature proclaims GOD’s glory. However, due to my sin and depravity, i don’t seek to give GOD HIS due glory, but i seek my own.

It’s this self-seeking glory that i celebrate on the soccer field, or at concerts, or when i tell a joke. It’s that passion that swallows me up, yet is never satisfied. I get an A in a class, suddenly i have something to be proud about. I score a goal; somebody cheer about it because i deserve it. It’s this prideful attitude that GOD was purposefully neglecting when HE designed the salvation plan.



Read that passage again, but slower. “But GOD chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise....” The Gospel is not for the know-it-all. It’s for the foolish. It’s not for the person that needs to understand the reasoning behind GOD’s love for him, but for the person who doesn’t understand why GOD would love him. GOD’s love makes no sense. It’s folly. A perfectly righteous GOD humiliatingly dies on a cross for someone who has constantly rejected HIS love, that doesn’t make any sense.

"folly, folly, folly, folly

all love i cannot comprehend

but the folly of our GOD

beats the genius of all men"

-The Love of GOD is Folly.

“GOD chose what is weak in this world to shame the strong.” GOD gave the Gospel for those who cannot stand on their own, for the ones who are broken and depressed, for the orphans and widows. GOD does not choose the fast, the strong, nor the lively, but HE chooses the ones who have no shot at temporal, earthly glory. HE does not choose what most people would choose. HE doesn’t pick the hot-shot forward for HIS team, but the waterboy. He doesn’t choose the linebacker, but the cancer patient. GOD wants the ones with the least potential in our eyes, to receive more glory when they have joy even through cancer or cleaning toilets. What is glory in our eyes is worthless in GOD’s.



GOD would rather use an orphan than a movie star because HE knows that the orphan will depend on HIM for everything. GOD would rather use a cancer patient than a football star. GOD would rather use a murderer than a goodie-two-shoes. When you know you don’t deserve your life, then GOD graciously gives you life any way, you’d be more useful to HIM than if you thought you deserved life.



GOD works in mysterious ways, but one thing HE has made clear to us is that HE hates pride. Remember that your life is not your own, and use it to glorify HIM and not yourself. Hopefully, HE has made others better than you, so that you may see how unworthy you are to receive HIS gift of grace. We must let our pride go before we can fully serve HIM honestly.