Christmas Cheer for FREE!

In support of the Christmas season beginning, the floor below mine in Culby has produced an excellent Christmas Album. Support Culby X and the rest of Moody by downloading this album from Noisetrade here.

Self-Deprivation

Many times, others have said exactly what I try to say in much better ways. Here is but one example:

O LORD,

my every sense, member, faculty, affection, is a snare to me,

   I can scarce open my eyes but I envy those above me,

                                                             or despise those below.

I covet the honor and riches of the mighty,

   and am proud and unmerciful to the rags of others;

If I behold beauty it is a bait to lust,

                    or deformity, it stirs up loathing and disdain;

How soon do slanders, vain jests, and wanton speeches creep into my heart!

Am I comely? What fuel for pride!

Am I deformed? What an occasion for repining!

Am I gifted? I lust after applause!

Am I unlearned? How I despise what I have not!

Am I in authority? How prone to abuse my trust, 

                                                             make will my law,

                                                             exclude others' enjoyments,

                                                             serve my interests and policy!

Am I inferior? How much I grudge others' pre-eminence!

Am I rich? How exalted I become!

THOU knowest that all those are snares by my corruptions, 

   and that my greatest snare is myself.

I bewail that my apprehensions are dull,

                         my thoughts mean,

                         my expressions low,

                         my life beseeming;

Yet what canst THOU expect of dust by levity,

                                                      of corruption but defilement?

Keep me ever mindful of my natural state,

   but let me not forget my heavenly title,

   or the grace that can deal with every sin.

-Valley of Vision.

Having Opinions.

I don't know if you are this way, but I tend to have my own opinions, but right when I hear a counter argument for something I
had believed I start to doubt myself. I'm not talking about objective truths, but the subjective: Did you enjoy the speaker? Do you like this band? Is this a good movie? Did you enjoy reading this book?

You see all these questions are subjective to the person answering them, and most every one has an opinion for all of them. There are people who are not afraid to voice their answers unashamedly and are not afraid of someone disagreeing with him, then there are people like me who have opinions, but are afraid to say them for fear of offending someone or losing respect.

This is not a bad thing until I'm afraid to give my opinion because I'm afraid of being wrong. How can I be wrong about whether I enjoyed listening to Jon Foreman or watching Gladiator, yet when I talk to people who don't like Jon Foreman, suddenly I'm less fond of his music. Suddenly, his creativity is less inspiring because I'm talking to someone who doesn't enjoy it. It can also work the opposite way; I don't enjoy heavy metal music, but when talking about it, I'll typically seem to enjoy it, at least a little bit.

Now, it is ok for me to seemingly enjoy conversing about something I don't really enjoy, but it's a whole other issue for me to not to give my honest opinion when someone asks for it. If I start compromising my opinions on small issues, that mentality will creep into some of the bigger issues over time. I will begin to not be offended when someone disrespects someone or something I care about because I'm afraid of disrespecting others. It becomes a circle of lies.

So yes, there are some things that aren't worth fighting for, but there are things we must get defensive of. If someone doesn't like Jon Foreman's music, that shouldn't offend me, but if someone attacks the character of someone I care about, then I should fight for them. There are obviously a lot of gray areas and we need to be careful about how much we argue for things that we think need to be defended, but if someone wants our opinion, then we need to give it without fear of being liked more or less because of it.